the monsters lurking in the back yard

The back yard has been overtaken by giant, multi-tentacled monsters, spitting out their spawn faster than the unscrupulous owner of a puppy mill. They looked innocent enough when Jim brought them home. Four sprightly youngsters, ready to become a part of the family. But looks can deceive, and I am left dealing with the fallout...

three of four of the monstrous squash plants, lorded over by even

larger tomato plants

the fork is on the table to give you an idea of the size of these--

a single day's harvest

My quest for zucchini preparations has become nearly overwhelming. Two days ago I made a black bean chili loaded with cubes of squash. It turned out very well, so I suppose I should have documented it for the blog, but I didn't. Last night I turned to a bacon and zucchini quiche. It too turned out to be very tasty. In the coming days expect a squash gratin, and a very interesting-looking squash ribbon salad with lime and red chili dressing and toasted peanuts.

The trick when adding zucchini to any preparation that needs moisture to be controlled is to extract as much moisture from the squash as possible before combining them with the other ingredients. The process involves slicing or shredding the zucchini into a colander, generously salting it, and letting it sit in the sink for an hour or two.

zucs can be grated on a box grater, but I like the pretty

little batons this gizmo produces

The other benefit of salting is the change of texture that the salt induces. The stiff flesh becomes silky and luscious as it loses its moisture. After the zucchini has softened, rinse away the excess salt, and squeeze the flesh out in a clean kitchen towel. And I mean squeeze like you mean it. Like you're squeezing every last deduction you can find into your tax return.

Set the zucchini aside, and start frying three or four strips of bacon cut into little 1/2 -inch wide batons, called lardons. While that fries to crispy perfection, slice half an onion into strips. Cutting them pole-to-pole will make for more attractive pieces, but they are going inside a quiche, so I suppose it doesn't matter. Once the bacon has crisped, remove it from the drippings and drain it on paper towel. Leave about a tablespoon of the fat in the pan, and saute the onions over medium heat until they are tender and golden, which should take about 20 minutes, with you giving them a stir every few minutes. While those brown, grate whatever cheese you want to use. You'll need about a cup. I used a Swiss cheese very similar to Gruyere called Comte, and a little knob of regular Swiss I had laying about in the fridge. Cheddar would do, goat cheese would do, smoked Gouda would do--just about anything that will melt well would do.

Then prepare your filling. Three eggs to one cup of either light cream or half and half makes a nice tender quiche filling. To that I add a few grates of fresh nutmeg, a pinch of salt (not too much--there is salt in the bacon, the cheese, and the zucchini) and whisk it up. A regular whisk or even a fork will combine things quite nicely, but I like to get out my immersion blender for the job. Just lazy I guess, because it gets the job done in about 4 seconds.

to the custard I added a few leaves of chopped parsley

and some fresh thyme--again, many different herbs would work--

dill, oregano, cilantro, marjoram, basil...

During the last few minutes of the cooking time for the onions, add in the zucchini. Now would be a good time to preheat the oven to 350 degrees.

the idea here isn't to cook the zuc, but to let it release

even a little more moisture

Okay, in the interest of full disclosure, I confess that I succumbed to the siren song of ready-made frozen pie crusts. Though I have a great pie crust recipe I have somehow managed not to have a pie pan. And since I make rustic tarts when a pie is called for, that really hasn't been issue. But quiche doesn't really lend itself to the rustic tart method. I bought a Marie Callendar frozen crust already in the pan, and it wasn't half bad.

cooked veggies go in first--right into a still-frozen crust--

then cheese, then bacon, then custard

ready for the oven--for pete's sake, put in on a pan-- 

it is a spillover waiting to happen, both in the oven 

and on the way there

this quiche took about 40 minutes to cook to golden perfection

in a 350 degree convection oven

While the quiche rests for about 10 minutes, throw together a little salad for a perfect side. I used grape tomatoes and arugula tossed in a simple vinaigrette of lemon juice, grainy mustard, dried minced shallot (love that shortcut ingredient), salt, pepper, and olive oil.

dinner is served--I was hungry and didn't let the quiche rest long enough,

so the slices were a little messy

If you are making this for guests, let the quiche rest as much as twenty minutes, until it is just warm, for more lady-like slices--if your guests are the sort to prefer style over substance. If it is just you and your family, by all means dig in after just a five or ten minute rest, while the cheese is still all oozy and the custard is a tender cloud. Your stomach won't notice that you didn't use great Aunt Esther's antique pie server to transfer perfect slices to Wedgwood china plates.

One zucchini down. Only 437 to go before the end of the summer.